There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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