well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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