East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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