So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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