i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize