Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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