$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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