He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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