Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
