You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He passed out mid-signature
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize