The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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