yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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