What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize