ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
