next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
