Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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