i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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