My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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