awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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