Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
