He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
im having a threesome with these popsicles
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
