I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
