An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
