Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
