she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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