there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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