How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
