I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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