when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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