For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
