he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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