either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
