perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It's never too late to be topless.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
