he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
