problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
My vagina just recognized that song.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
