Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
