We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
