i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
