you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
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