my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
