singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
It was a blind-side dick pic.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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