people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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