How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I booty called her while she was in labor.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
This baby is an asshole
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
