Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
organizing the empties. That sober.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
