Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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