I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I have fence marks all over my body
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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