I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
