ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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