Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
