i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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