fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
