Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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