I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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