I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
