i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
