ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
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