Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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